Category: the Rant Board
Hi. I met this person out here, and he says how he wants to be friends and all. We talk, then he wants nothing to do with me. He's not honest enough to tell me why, and says he's had problems with other girls. I'm wondering if you, and you know who you are, might be the problem?
How can all these girls, as you call them, or women be talking behind your back, and so wrong, when I saw the honesty. I try to be honest. And, I know when someone's not telling me the whole truth.
Then, when I change my username, I see: "Hi. I'm so-and-so."
Well, I forgive, but I won't forget. Sorry if I don't want you in my pants, or whatever your hang up is, but, I don't know you well enough. And, I don't gage someone on 1 conversation. I wouldn't have said one thing, if you hadn't assumed I was a new fish you could hook into being your latest trophee. If that's so harsh, maybe, you should realize, you are hurting people, by your actions.
I'm not the sucker I used to be. I've been shown the door. I don't let it bother me, but for this:
I've had too many people pretend they love me, and then all of a sudden, can't handle my limitations. And, that's rich, coming onto a site and hoping you, sir, will be respected like others. You would be, if you respected me, by being honest. But, since you didn't, and saw another tail to chase, instead of a person, that's what gets me.
I know there's drama on here and all that. And, people aren't always who they say they are. But, I know some people who are honest and even if they are chick magnets, they tell you up front. So, just say you want a good sex partner, instead of lying and saying: "Glad to be your friend."
Just remember this little poem of sorts:
"Oh what a tangled,
Web we weave;
When first we practice,
To deceive."
Those that are honest, thank you for being so.
Sarah
Sarah I've been out of this particular game for many years now, but I can certainly say that when it comes to relationships, the truth definetly matters. The problem is there are a lot of "dripping penises" out there who care little for either honesty or the actual relationship aspect of a relationship. People who are just interested in hitting on someone? They're more than likely not going to be worth it in the end. But now I'm being captain obvious, and that's your title.:)
That's why I'm saying this. I've been held captive by the penis pushers, too long, not to know when someone's having that attitude. Really. If you are honest, and nice about it, you can make friends. Being someone who has trouble getting out alll that much, I don't think finding friends is that easy. But, it helps, when both people are honest.
And, there's another thing. Where is it, that when you talk to someone, you have to go visit and give them a "good time?" What happened to being friends first?
Just saying more of the obvious, I think.
Sarah
my question is, Why are you investing so much time into one prick? I mean, if he gave a damn about you he wouldn't play such babyish games. Dripping penis be damned.
I always looked at it as a helpful way to weed out the desperate. Though I admit nearly all the girls I have met and had an online relationship with always ended up turning into something more. Perhaps I'm not as qualified to talk about this for that reason. I can say that for me, going to visit didn't "require" "being made happy", but physicality did play a large part mutually. I think in a lot of cases with long distance relationships you spend so much time conversing with words for weeks or months that by the time you visit for a small window you just want to do all you can to make up for lost time. It means things can seem like they're going very fast. In truth they probably are. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but it certainly makes sense. But it should never ever be an expectation.
It's not a gendered issue, but Sara I'm just going to say this: Your intuition kicked you off about this person? Your intuition isn't magic, it's based on your life experience. Sure, it's not cognitive or intellectual but it still is intelligence. Your intuition against this guy matters. And it matters a lot. Even before what you cognitively thought and everyone else said.
You're right on, spot on the money, batting a thousand when it comes to people claiming "all ... <sert group here> ... do <insert action>" Clearly, you're not the problem, he is. We've all had both good and bad experiences with various types of people.
Just remember, you're the one making sense here, not him. And your intuition against this person is not just "a feeling," ... it's a very highly evolved {or developed, if you will} part of yourself. It's the part of yourself that kept your ancestors from being eaten by lions, because it functions a hell of a lot quicker than your cognitive does. And in a case like this, using it to get away to a safe place and evaluate is absolutely spot on. It's not magic, it's not spook or spirit, it's a very highly advanced part of your intelligence.
Right. At times it is wise to trust one's instincts.
Thank you all for your thoughts.
I think what gets me, is how many people on here, don't realize you aren't a new person, and some people, male and female, take advantage of how they might be able to scheme, instead of having been truthful in the first place. I guess, it just is strange to me, because I don't see the point of hiding anything that is important. Now, I have a couple secrets, that I won't say on here. But, that's for concerns of my safety. Not just the "I'm not stupid enough to give my information out here," kind of thing.
For some reason, I'm more tired, today. So, I'll think on this, and if anything, I vented my frustration.
Sometimes, just getting someone like that off your chest, helps. I don't know why.
Blessings,
Sarah.
I tend to use a saying. The saying is, you have to laugh at your enimies. What that means is don't allow people to tear you down.
Well, I have had my share of people not telling me the truth. And I dont' hide who I am. First off I'm Christy.. I have several but a lot of names on here, and I tell people who I am. I just don't like when for instance someone says they are sorry for talking to you about certain things they should not, and then freaking ask you what is allowed after you specifically tell them what you will not talk about. Just saying. That really gets on my last nerve. And yu know what else? Why do guys and girls have to get a girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever, and then tell them all kinds of serious things how they feel about you and just have other people on a string. Like one girlfriend or boyfriend isn't enough for him/her.
Oh I agree with that. Something is very wrong with the world but we're not all bad.
I think the main reason why people are not honest online is because it's way to easy to pull it off. I mean, think about it. They are hiding behind a keyboard. It's not as if you met them in person. So they can tell you they are your best friend, and they are hiding behind the text, so they don't get found out until you get hurt. Sad but true.
I have to agree, peole think it's fun to hide behind a mask, or love seeing the reactions of others. Have been caught by that a few times, it can change how you see others which is what these people usually want.
that's a good way of putting it rat. I like how you worded that
Honesty is important especially online, and if you have a gut feeling,trust it!
It's amazing what lying assholes are out there.
James
Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread, but, here's my opinion anyway.
In my many years on the zone I've found, if you expect love, or exclusivity, you will almost always be disappointed.
If you expect friendships, you'll probably find plenty.
I've never met a person on here that I totally dislike--except Goblin from way back--and that was, I now believe because he was smarter than I was, and set out to prove it.
Just my humble opinion.
Bob
finding love on the zone is silly, I know it's happened before. But I wouldn't take it so personal about someone dissing you because you didn't only just want sex. This is a very sex driven site from what I've seen. If your not into one time fucks, best just to make friends and move on to match.com or something. Just my opinion.